I have wanted to write this rant for a long, long time:
During the past 7 years, we have probably witnessed the worst that the generation of 1980s and 1990s could ever see. We lived through wars, pressure, heartbreaking traumas, refugee crisis, wars, extremism, seas with drowning humans, warplanes, human trafficking, unjustful detainment, injustice surrounding every single aspect of our lives ranging from your own house’s 4 walls to the widest sidewalks and streets your feet touched up to the highest altitude you reached in your journeys in airplanes.
And yet, specially in the Middle Eastern region, the very fact that you CARE is a source of “doubt” for people. At the beginning, like every single thing humans hype about, it is considered “heroism, bravery, courage”. But given the human nature which is dominated by boredom and short-term memory, as time passed by, “caring” now is deemed by people a source of attention or some form of masochistic behavior that “you really like to bother and pain yourself”. As time passes by, those who truly care begin to question their intentions; noting that intentions is something untouchable, unfathomable, uncontrollable, subliminal in its type that you actually begin to lose it yourself. You begin to question yourself: Do I genuinely care or what people are saying is true? That I am doing it for attention?
(I aforementioned in “Middle Eastern region” because I noticed that in Western countries, this isn’t as common. Those who work in any humanitarian field are most of the time hailed and supported and never doubted).
I struggle with this fact every single day. Being truly passionate about causes much bigger than you are, it does bring you some sort of attention from your surrounding; it is the same attention that people give you then sometimes question your very own intentions whether your sole aim is really their actual momentary attention… (Reverse psychology, in other words).
Your grief, sleepless nights, true agony, endless thought patterns, every favor you ask from people to read or help or donate or share, it all becomes questionable in your heart and mind.
I came to the conclusion that there are people doing countless good deeds for attention, specially given the truism that social media creates a sort of “perfect world” to portray yourself in a certain way no matter what you do: entertainment, politics, blogging, cooking, fashion, etc.
But I also came to the conclusion for so many in political/humanitarian field is that many people actually do genuinely care. You can seek attention in so many other sorts; singing or dancing or acting or doing a live Facebook video about any subject brings a LOT more attention than posting or sharing or talking about any humanitarian subject. No body remembers any heroes of the past, or individuals who sacrificed their lives for the sake of a certain cause or plight, or any of the countless activists in Arab region who lost their lives trying to tell the truth, yet almost everyone certainly knows past and present singers and actors for instance.
It is an every day struggle to come to this fact. To accept people’s doubt and concerns and letdowns. And to accept that no matter what you do, many people will almost always doubt what you really are. People will doubt your tears, pain, and keenness to the injustices around the world. Renew your intentions every day and that is all it takes to be a true human in this world where selfishness, hatred, and prejudice is corroding us to the core.
(Note: this is intended in support of anyone who finds peace fighting for those who have no voice and no opinion. Also it isn’t in any way an attempt to showcase a very minor struggle compared to all those truly struggling to even survive. But all this takes its toll on those working in any humanitarian field, it lets them down and discourages them to the highest extent. It becomes both a fight for the sake of the people and a fight to sustain one’s self).