No words could be put to blurt out the rage in me because of what had happened yesterday. Hunaytah, a young Syrian man, was supposed to get medical support after being transferred to a refuge country with the 1000 dollars a friend was trying to collect, but whilst we were Begging for the money, the young man got martyred. I do not know the young man, and I refused to receive the image of him wounded because I was determined that regardless of his wounds, he is a brave courageous human in pain that I must willingly and blindly help with zero feelings of sympathy. But his death stabbed my heart. 

Hunaytah, martyred on 26/9/2013.
Hunaytah, martyred on 26/9/2013. Original link:

Most of us, Syrians working in aid, technically Beg for the money as though we are going to buy a villa and a Mercedes car by them. Those I ask for urgent donations must ask for at least one of the following for “proof”: photos of the torn down tents, photos of the man-girl-woman wounded, HD resolution photos of pain, sufferance, and agony so we could “donate” a few dinars.
It just kills inside, it really does… I was late and we all were. Can you imagine how demeaning it is to us all? He had the chance to survive and live again and we let him down by our ignorance. A countless similar cases are reported of everyday and I could swear they are by the thousands daily whether in Syria, Jordan, Lebanon etc. Their blood is on our hands if we stay as negligent as we are.

أُولَٰئِكَ يُسَارِعُونَ فِي الْخَيْرَاتِ وَهُمْ لَهَا سَابِقُونَ – المؤمنون 61

It is those who hasten to good deeds, and they outstrip [others] therein. – Al Mu’minun 61

 It is not about you nor about your money nor about me or anyone else, it is about those in need and about our duty to save them. 

Excuses of ‘we are not sure if the money will reach the right person because yea you know many are robbing the donations’ is a dead old joke. You do not need to enter the houses or tents of ill refugees and shed some tears then express utter sympathy in order to aid them. I suggest you find other means for saying that you just do not care much. 

I’m ashamed of myself. We all should be. I did not write this for sympathy or else. I wrote it to let go of the rage inside of me.

Rest in peace Hunaytah, all martyrs, rest in peace. I wish I could just carry all the pain of your families left behind, all the pain of your fatal wounds, all the pain whilst waiting for us to help you, to find you… 

رحمة الله على أرواح الشّهيدات و الشّهداء..